I love you, mummy

April 6, 2012 § 2 Comments

Messy Dad and I were chatting about our boys the other night. I’m sure it’s a conversation a lot of parents have. Are we doing right by our boys? Are we giving them the best possible start to life that we can give? Are we investing in them enough? I have huge wobbles because I may be full of Attachment understanding, I read other peoples’ experiences, I read research, I read books – but I get to the end of a day and look back at just how much I’ve messed up over the course of a day.

And then Messy Boy snuggles up to me after having his milk at bedtime and says I love you mummy, and smiles with his eyes closed, and my heart melts and I realise that I must be doing something right. He loves me, enough to not care about my reaction to his words. (He loves me enough to not be concerned about my reaction when he tells me how unimpressed with something he is either!)

All the love and attention, the responsiveness, the playing and painting and talking is worth it and his love tank is filled up and able to deal with my off days when my own love tank is running low.

messy kids

I hope that I’m able to invest as much into Messy Baby as I have done for the Boy….

I know that remembering to connect with God throughout the day is my own way of keeping my love tank filled, and to me it’s becoming evident when I forget because I start getting frazzled again. Learning lots at the moment. Still learning to trust my instincts and the instincts of my children, still learning to stay connected, still learning to look after myself more and keep my own love tank filled.

Things that keep my love tank filled up include staying connected with God, painting with Messy Boy and getting my hands messy, time and space (however brief) to get the camera out and indulge, snuggling with the boys at the end of the day, a hug from my husband, laundry and dishes done and my mind uncluttered.

messy painting together

Messy Boy loves being told well done, as long as it is earnest! He can see through our autopilot phrases…. He loves being told that we love him, as well as being shown that we love him. He loves conversation and company. He is a sensory child and loves getting messy with paint, the messier the better, then playing with water doing the “washing up” and getting soaked. He is a physical child, and loves cuddles and tickles, running and bouncing, shouting, drumming and singing. If we do these kind of things, he stays filled up.

What keeps your love tank filled up?

What do you know about that keeps your children’s love tanks filled?


§ 2 Responses to I love you, mummy

  • Such a beautiful post. Your boys are so blessed to have you both as parents.
    I like the point you made about feeling frazzled when you don’t top up your love tank, through reconnecting with God, and finding time to do stuff. thankyou, as I think it’s something i need to do more of. Feeling particularly frazzled a lot of the time, I need to start putting some of your advice into action.

  • Your children are gorgeous and you seem like amazing parents. Your needs are simple yet beautiful. And thank you for not being afraid to mention God in a post. God is a BIG part of my love tank remaining filled.

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