Testosterone and Teething
August 24, 2012 § 1 Comment
Messy Boy is now 3 years and 10 months and suddenly, almost overnight it feels like, his testosterone levels have gone through the roof!! He is going through incredible mood swings, complete with screaming which even he can’t explain why, afterwards.
I’ve been wondering how on earth to help him get through this, to help him learn that emotions – even really really big ones – are ok, but you have to learn to deal with them safely and constructively rather than destructively or by bottling them up.
I had a lightbulb moment this evening at dinner though and thank goodness it appeared to work, at least this time! I suddenly realised that I’d much rather he screamed out his rage someplace safe and secure, than go through it alone or turn it into violence. He was screaming because (I think, I can’t quite remember now but to be honest, it could have been anything that set him off) we wouldn’t let him put his face directly into his bowl to eat his cereal, and would rather he use a spoon.
I held my arms out to him and told him to come over to me to scream it out of him. He did, he buried his head into my chest, and screamed. And calmed right down. I suggested another big old scream to let all the frustration and anger and rage out. He screamed again, and then climbed onto my knee for a big cuddle.
It was all gone. No more anger, or frustration, or rage. He’d screamed it out of him while I had my arms around him and his around me. He was secure, he was loved even through his rage, he was safe and not going to hurt anyone or be hurt.
We talked about this afterwards with him, but as much as we have talked about it and suggested that when he feels like this, he can come and scream out the rage in our arms, it’s going to be as much up to us to make sure that our arms are always a place of safety and security.
Complement this sudden mega increase in tostesterone with Messy Baby whose body has decided that this week’d be a great time to have a bout of full-on teething misery complete with fever and a lot screaming of his own and being sick and not being able to sleep, and it’s been a pretty exhausting week! And STILL no teeth…
I figured we all could do with chocolate icecream for dessert after all that screaming had been released.
The boys wore theirs pretty well, I thought!!