Hello… God Calling…

December 17, 2012 § Leave a comment

These past few months, I think it’s safe to say, have been pretty difficult. With no real money coming in, a small pot in the bank which has been paying the bills while we wait and hope for Messy Dad’s business plan to kick in, and learning to live together again it’s been hard work.

We’ve had lots of moments when we’ve wondered if we’d made the right calls. We’ve had moments wondering if the next step is a career move to China for a few years. We’ve both worked hard getting our respective businesses set up right, allowing each other space, encouraging, holding on…

But when the bills get paid each month and the pot of money goes down again and again and there’s nothing significant coming in, it does tend to produce the odd occasion of panic.

But God hasn’t been entirely silent.

Standing on the moors, in the mist. Beautiful, but undirectional. What direction do we go in? See the mountain in the distance – we have a goal but no idea what lies between us and that. As we move forwards, more of the path will be revealed. Growing in faith! The moors – beautiful, but unsustaining. Can’t just stay in one place, as beautiful as it is. Life as it is, with [Messy Dad] at home more, serving the church more, is beautiful but utterly unsustainable in the natural.

One afternoon after church we came home to find an envelope full of money had been left on our doorstep – we’ve never ever had money given to us like that before. Ever! We still don’t know who blessed us like that. It was a blessing of far more than just finances, it was a little reminder that God hadn’t forgotten us.

Wedding – vows of faithfulness to each other, felt like today we were reaffirming our marriage vows with God. God promised me, I won’t break my faith with you.

I wanted to write a post to collate all the various words and pictures that have been brought to us over the past couple of months as we’ve been wondering if we’re even trying to walk in the right direction at all.

A maze, and a flagpole in the centre. Having to just walk forward in faith, knowing where we are headed but not knowing the route. An exercise in faith, not being able to see the next step, but having to have faith to keep walking forwards. (Abraham didn’t have GPS!) Where it looks like a dead end in the maze, a door will open. Have faith! The flagpole not just a bearings marker, but bearing a Union Flag: significant – not just to remain here in the British Isles but also significant in that it represents a Union, Togetherness. The mist – there is blessing in the mist. Pray the mist into clouds, and the clouds into rain, and receive that blessing.

Praying the mist into clouds, the clouds into rain, and to receive the blessing in the rain… I’ve been doing that! I see the mist as all the potential jobs out there for my husband. I know how good he is at what he does, I know his passion, his desire to do what he does, I see how much he cares and wants to train others too.

Continue to model God’s heart for Family in the way we live our lives.

One of the feelings that Messy Dad had over this past week is that God is pushing us, slowly, slowly, but pushing us more and more, to see just how much we trust Him. How far do we trust Him before our hearts can’t take it any more and we go begging to the bank for another overdraft extension….

Blockage in a gutter / downpipe – need to pray through the blockage, to release the blessings.

We’ve been feeling (well, I’ve been feeling) pretty disconnected the past few days, it’s not helped that Messy Baby has had a couple of random nights of being sick at 4am and then being absolutely fine afterwards so we are feeling the tired-strain at the moment.

Be yourself – God has made you unique, with a unique voice. You have been created like this for a reason.

Tomorrow was going to be the beginning of our biggest test: most of the big bills get paid in the middle of a month and I honestly did not know whether they were all going to be paid this month. I knew next month was out of the question, anyway. So to be given another envelope full of money this afternoon almost reduced me to tears…. Thankyou, SO much. To know that you care this much for us, is as much as blessing as the finances to pay this month’s bills is.

A snow-globe…. knowing that God has a plan and purpose for us, but not being able to see it clearly. Knowing it has been detailed and carefully wrought, but not able to see it fully. TRUST.

And then….

Well, it may seem kind of trivial… But a lovely group of ladies who I talk with regularly did a little secret santa. To be completely honest I’m not even sure that this was my actual secret santa present, the only clue was in the address label which had “craft” in the middle of my name!! But of all the things to send me, and then of all the days to pick to open the thing….

Be Thou My Vision

A HUGE poster print that I think we need to put up somewhere prominent, saying

Be thou my vision, oh Lord of my heart,
Naught be all else to me save that thou art,
Thou my best thought by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping thy presence my light.

Hmmm. I kinda get the feeling that God is trying to get the message through to trust Him…….

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